2nd Quarter
- Parent/Student/Counselor conferences begin in November to review surveys on learning style, personality style and progress thus far at SLUH
- Senior Advisors continue to meet with freshmen
Recommendations to Freshmen Parents
Freshmen experience great physical, emotional, and social adjustment; it's exhausting and requires rest. Already feeling "put upon" with little room for dissent at school, freshmen are more likely to increase messages of irritation, frustration, and resistance, when hearing admonitions about home responsibilities.
Try to anticipate their low energy and desire for self-direction by asking when you might speak with them and what would be reasonable deadlines for the completion of particular tasks. Parents would do better not to expect a positive attitude about compliance in these matters, but to be satisfied with the job done. "I don't expect you to like it, but I know you can get it done.... How can I help you to get started?" is the kind of approach that a tired and/or anxious teen is more likely to find refreshing.
SLUH is a particularly selective, yet diverse population; your son may be intimidated by the wealth of talent around him or may fail to recognize a need to shift his own expectations, in all facets of SLUH.
Parents would be well-advised to check with the counselor, to see where this son seems to fit academically, according to placement tests. For many students, a "B-" to "C+", or even a "C" average could represent a reasonable, best effort at this school. Emphasis should be placed on how your son is working, not simply on the grade. Do not punish for low grades/performance; work with your son to build in a more reliable and workable structure. The emphasis should be on establishing a context where achievement and satisfaction can occur. Such a structure will certainly be more restricting than a student would like to believe is necessary, but should include regular perks and rest points. A blanket withdrawal of privileges (e.g., grounding for a month) puts a person in a situation where he is expected to perform at his best without major rewards or points of respite. Restrict phone access, for example, but do not remove all access. You could be throwing out one of your best motivators!
The best external motivators are built into his regular day. The promise of something "big" at the end of a grading period is too distant to be more than added pressure. More than likely, the best motivation will be the sense of calm or eagerness which comes with being adequately prepared, not only coming to class able to talk about the content, but ready to bring up one's own questions and comments on the material. You shouldn't need to dream up bigger and better "carrots."
The amount of content material in courses requires regular review beyond the assigned work, on a nightly basis. Many people hate to review or repeat experiences. You, yourself, may never reread a book or watch a "repeat" on TV. Most freshmen don't know what to do, once the work has been done, particularly if it takes a long time to get through the week.
They could rewrite/reduce their initial notes as a review, make note cards, and/or could have a half-hour, nightly session with a parent, when they try to summarize what they learned in one or two areas that day. Being with someone for this time, when they are most likely to "call it quits," would help to reduce their anxiety, if you don't "grill" them. Have a snack while you review.
Your behavior should reflect confidence in your son's ability, but should also acknowledge that the skills/habits needed to succeed may not exist yet. "Pacing" your son, by working with, or even near him, not for him, may help him acquire needed skills and rhythm. If your son seems off-task, he may very well be anxious, not lazy. Irritation and nagging from you will only heighten anxiety and the ensuing struggle may only serve to distract further from the real issue, namely, how to get past the present obstacle in dealing with this task.
Many of your sons are very cautious about getting involved at SLUH. Respect their caution! Some may have been denied in their attempts to join a team. Others are nervous about the propensity of their classmates to make alliances by "putting down" others and making scapegoats. Do not push your son to join, but explore with him how he sees the territory here (i.e., what looks "doable" and enjoyable). The Community Service opportunities are examples of safe, no-lose, activities for freshmen.
Counselor-Parent-Freshman Meetings
Counselors schedule appointments to meet with freshmen and their parent(s) beginning in November. The agenda for this conference includes a review of the Keirsey Temperament Sorter (short version of the Myers-Briggs) and Learning Style Inventory results, with their implications for a student at SLUH, the design of a study system based on this style, a review of academic skills and first quarter performance, and a discussion of reasonable expectations for this student at SLUH. Another goal of the conference will be to generate a tentative, three-year curriculum plan.
A letter will be mailed home requesting you to call to set up an appointment. Check with your son to determine which class period(s) and particular day it meets that would be the least stressful for him to miss. Appointment times for all counselors are as follows: 8:30 a.m., 11:00 a.m., and 1:30 p.m. Then call Mrs. Berger, the Counseling Department's secretary, as soon as possible after receiving the letter, to arrange an appointment. She can be reached at 531-0330, extension 187.
Senior Advisors
The senior advisors have been meeting with their freshmen individually and in groups to discuss study strategies and will continue to do so. Senior advisors are working with freshmen on adjusting socially at SLUH by exploring opportunities for co-curricular involvement.
